WHERE HAVE I BEEN.
It’s a statement not a question because I actually have a pretty good idea as to my whereabouts the past couple of weeks (months?). Perhaps I should have written ‘WHERE I HAVE BEEN’ but hindsight is a bitch. My computer was broken AGAIN. I’m back at uni so I haven’t been able to get much computer use.

GOOD NEWS: I am employed and spending my profits mostly on feel good items like new (ONE SIZE DOWN AGAIN) clothes and yummy perfume. Also apple green nail polish and books. Also tea and shoes. Also I am materialistic and greedy.

BAD NEWS: I am employed at a bakery where I get a half price staff discount and excess food at the end of the day is there for the taking. PLUS when I work the 6-2 morning shift I miss breakfast and lunch at college. Luckily after working with the food for that long I rarely feel like eating it and go buy a salad roll from across the road instead. :D

Hope my neglected friends list is doing well and sorry to the people I added right before my long absence! Hope to catch up with you soon.

We got 'study packs' of lollies from our RA's today. It reminded me to not buy any sweets or junk food until my self control gets better. I've mastered not getting things mostly but when I do I feel like I have no restraint and I hate it. Otherwise it was a reasonable day! One more essay to go, a shopping trip, lunch with friends and by Saturday I'll be headed back out into the country where I feel so much more comfortable bobbing around in my workout gear (cows don't judge me). :D

April 12 2009

Breakfast:
Banana
Apple

Lunch:
Some sot of vegetable soup + 2 white bread (one again dining hall, why doi you run out of good bread so fast?) with marg

Dinner:
Chicken pie with crust removed + veges


Snacks:
3 jelly snakes, a mini boost bar, a lollipop, a few misc jubes, mini smarties pack, couple of starburst.
90g pack of salt and vinegar crisps.
Apple

Beverages:
Peppermint tea
Hot chocolate

Note: initial test for 100pushups = 7 (which is better than last time I tried and was so disheartened I gave up before the first day).

Oh my gosh! Where have I been? Inundated by work mostly. Tomorrow is my last day of uni before exams start which means I have gone into extreme survival mode to get assignments done. Luckily the only binge I have had was with a packet of m&m's my friend bought me as a thank you present for a favour one lunch time. Let's just say they didn't all make it to dinner. I have been buying herbal tea when I go to the supermarket instead of chocolates or rice crackers which are my main vices. Exercise has been sporadic and mostly consisting of running in a wild panic to complete an urgent errand or hand work in.

I'm going home in almost a week so I hope to do lot's of exercise over the holidays and make the most of fresh, home grown vegetables and the opportunity to cook for myself.

Well, it's 1:15 am and I have another 1500 words to write before tomorrow so back to work!

I've been thinking about going and buying a bag of caramels all day and have finally decided I don't want them. Good thing laziness of not walking to the shop overcame desire to binge this time? :p

April 12 2009

Breakfast:
Muesli/Just Right/All Bran mix with milk and mango yoguhrt.

Lunch:
Pasta with cream sauce and crumbed chicken with salad.

Dinner:
Satay chicken with white rice, beans and peas.

Self saucing chocolate pudding with 2 scoops of icecream. (Why is the college making good dessert all of a sudden!? It's not helping! I'm good all day then this monstrosity throws itself in my path. ;p)

Snacks:
Trail mix.
Apple
Banana

Beverages:
Water
3 Black tea with milk

April 11 2009

Breakfast:
2 wholemeal toast with butter/marmalade/vegemite. three types of melon slices

Lunch:
Wholegrain salad and herb chicken sandwhich with mayo.

Dinner:
Shepherds pie, cabbage, carrot, beans peas and a little potato.

Snacks:
Trail mix.
2 Jelly baby (in one of my classes haha)

Beverages:
Water
1 black tea with milk
1 hot chocolate

I saw my mum on Friday morning briefly as she was passing through. This is the first time she has seen me properly siiiince Febuary and when I rang her just then she commented on how nice my outfit was and how she noticed I had lost weight! :D

Mum has always been very supportive (by that I mean I can't imagine having a better Mum) and keeps my confidence up. When we go shopping or I have a new outfit she always tells me it's "flattering". I don't think she realises she does it but it was so satisfying to just have her tell me I looked plain old good hahaha. She is a tiny woman herself.

Anyway, I have been aware for a while that for what I weigh I am quite well proportioned and most of my fat is around my belly. I think this is why I didn't realise how much of a problem I had for a long time). Belly fat also appears to be the worst kind. I keep reading things about how this is quite risky for different aspects of health. I've also been wondering if there is a potential for a problem involving loose skin in that area if I manage to continue the way I have been.

Anyway, I'm to go for a walk and get some washing powder (not chocolate, stay strong self).

I was way too drunk to update last night BUT we went out to this 'special' pizza place and I managed not to stuff my face. We had five normal pizzas plus two small dessert pizzas between nine people (yes the guys ordered hahaha) and I had three slices of normal and 1 and 1/2 slices of dessert. It's still a lot but I felt satiated and content not stuffed and sickly. =)

April 9 2009

Breakfast:
Sultanas and a Banana. (not feeling too well when I woke up)

Lunch:
Wholemeal salad and roast beef sandwhich with chutney.

Dinner:
Misc tomato based pasta bake, potato, carrot and cabage.

Small piece of plain cake.

1 Toast with vegemite. (I reckon having a smaller breakfast catches up with me or maybe I am just making excuses)

Snacks:
2 Apples
Blueberry scroll (thanks friend at bakery for the free food when I visit you *sigh*)

Beverages:
Water
3 black tea with milk

ETA: I just did a rough calculation of the calorie intake for the day and it came up with 1548. I wish I hadn't ruined it with the iced bun but it was still a pretty good day (especially compared to the number of calories I used to consume). When i calculated my BMR it said to lose 1 pound a week I should be eating 1674 calories a day. I feel really bloated now and really don't want anymore. There is a chance I calculated the caloires for today wrong however. It seems like I ate heaps.

ETA: I forgot to add 160 for the two apples which makes it 1708. I thought it seemed too good to be true.

I didn't realise how many calories cheese had and I realised I'm eating too many grains still. I have also been trying to up how much water I drink so made an effort with that today, taking my waterbottle everywhere and having water with meals not juice.

HUGE step backwards these past couple of days. I'm not back to my old habbits but some things are sneaking through. Things just seem to snowball. Got to get back on track.

My friend is working again tonight which means more gifts of sugar and pastry from the bakery. I should ask her not to but I can't bring myself blegh. Just have to try and ration it again.

April 7 2009
Breakfast:
Oats with milk, sultanas, banana and honey.

Lunch:
Tuna pasta bake stuff?, garlic bread and very little salad.

Dinner:
A sasuage with mash, carrots, peas and salad (trying to up the vege intake)

Snacks:
2 Apple
1 choc muffin
ETA: iced bun
ETA: half an apricot scroll (sigh)

Beverages:
Water
1 Coffee
1 Hot Chocolate (I have a mini one from the dining hall instead of dessert if I really want something)
ETA: 1 black tea with milk

Another trip to the market today without buying bad foods. I bought more peppermint tea as a treat instead. :D

May 3 2009

Sunday Brunch:
Wholegrain roast beef + salad sandwich with cheese and mayo
Small bowl of cornflakes

Dinner:
Steaky type thing with mushrooms
Cauliflower cheese
Roast potato
Peas, carrots and beans

Cake + 1 scoop of chocolate ice-cream

Snacks:
1 pear
2 apples

Beverages:
Water
2 Black teas with milk
1 Hot milo (plus a few spoons extra hahah)

I am really proud of myself! My friend works at a bakery and when she gets back she always has a stash of produce they would otherwise throw out. So I had a doughnut and a chocolate muffin plus a drink. I knew I couldn't help myself and started to eat the muffin when half way through I decided I had had enough and put all the rest away. ACTUAL RESTRAINT. It's good because usually when I know there is something there to eat I will obsess over it until I finally eat it but I actually have no desire to eat anymore! :D

April 30 2009

Breakfast:
2 white toast with butter, jam + vegemite (I keep getting to brekky late and there is no good bread or marg)

Lunch:
Rice, vegetables and salad with cheese.

Dinner:
Lasagne with veg (and I stopped eating it when I'd had enough too)

Half a scone with jam and cream (only half a scone and little cream: so many small victories today)

Snacks:
1 Apple
1/2 chocolate muffin (:D)

Beverages:
Water
3 Black tea with milk

I wore some of my nicer clothes because I was going out for trompings around the city plus my hair out and I got so many compliments throughout the course of the day! It was a really nice. :D

April 29 2009

Breakfast:
Oats + sultanas, milk, honey.

Lunch:
Wholegrain salad + ham sandwich with chutney (the ham was foul: I had to pull it out).

Dinner:
Cheap fried rice with veg + tofu (have a feeling I'm going to regret that later)

Snacks:
1 Banana
1 Apple

Beverages:
Water
1 Cookies & cream mocha chiller with cream from gloria jeans (ungh)
1 Ice tea
1 Black tea with milk

April 28 2009
I am feeling better today and can honestly laugh about the events of the weekend. Thank you members of

Okay, so things have been going well for a couple of months. I have been back on track and re lost most of the weight I regained. Generally things have been positive and then my brother and I decided to try and restore some weak family connections and stay with our grandparents. My grandmother used to teach dressage riding and has very Victorian ideologies and believes that being direct is the best method of achieving anything. Can you see where this is going?

( the events of the weekend )

Going away for the weekend but I will try to keep record on paper.

Sometimes when I write in here I have to remind myself to be honest. Isn't it horrible that I lie to myself!

April 23 2009

Breakfast:
Oats + sultanas, milk, honey.

Lunch:
Wholegrain salad + roast beef sandwich with chutney.

Dinner:
Chicken + mushroom pasta (misc college white sauce?) + veg + potato.

1 pancake with banana and choc sauce (it was hard not to have 3 yum :D)

Snacks:
50g Jelly beans (my mum sent me these)
Goji berries (and these, she's a gem)
1 Apple

Beverages:
Water
2 Black tea with milk
2 Coffee + milk (hahaha, and my fav coffee too. Thanks mum :D)

I have a new episode of Supernatural to look forward to! If that isn't motivation I don't know what is!

I had a rushed day and I think my eating reflects that. Had pizza out with friends and we bought too much so we all pigged out.

April 21 2009

Breakfast:
None (but I reeeeeally needed that sleep in)

Lunch:
Spag bog (but I didn't eat much it was horrbile!)

Dinner:
5 slices of pizza (and don't I regret it blegh)

Snacks:
1 apple
1 banana

Beverages:
Water

I am looking forward to a good nights sleep. I felt like I went up and down the six flights of stairs 50 times I was running around so much all day hahaha.

April 21 2009

Early morning still doing my assignment binge:
Wholegrain salad + cheese sandwich.

Breakfast:
Nutri grain + milk

Lunch:
Hamburger (beef + salad but no chips hurrah! I felt plenty full :D)

Dinner:
Roast chicken , potato + salad.

Snacks:
1 apple
sultanas (I need to buy some other dried fruit/nuts! These are supposed to be for my porridge.)

Beverages:
Water
Orange juice
1 Black tea with milk

Thank you Gaspard for summing up how I feel right now.

April 20 2009

Breakfast:
2 raisin toast + butter (seriously, I refuse to insult raisin toast by using marg hahaha).

Lunch:
Turkish bread with avocado, bacon, spinach and tomato.

Dinner:
Chicken parmy + potato + mixed veg.

2 ice-cream scoops (there was the one with little honeycomb bits and caramel I'm not that strong ;D). On a more serious note I realised I was social eating: it was just an excuse to stay at dinner longer and I didn't really want it.

Snacks:
2 biscuits
1 apple

Beverages:
Water
2 Black tea with milk
Iced mocha + cream
Peppermint tea

I need some liquidy deer eyes to cheer me up.


Ahhhh, much better. =)

Ugh, it's going to be a stressful week. All I want to do is nom as I do these stupid assingments. Comfort eating much?

ETA: Also note I pulled a one nighter and managed to not have a second dinner at 3 in the morning. ;D

April 19 2009

Sunday Brunch:
English muffin with marg + vegemite + jam
Fried egg
1/2 fried tomato
Hash brown

Dinner:
Tomato based pasta bake + veg

Snacks:
2 plums
2 apples
sultanas

Beverages:
Water
Orange juice
3 black tea with milk

April 18 2009

Breakfast:
Oats with sultanas and honey

Lunch:
Salad (with cheese, no dressing) and wok fried rice with veg.

Dinner:
Rice with chicken/veg stir-ry and steamed bok choy.

Snacks:
1 pear
3 plums
1 apple
60g milka hazelnut choc

Beverages:
Water
1 Apple juice
3 Black tea with milk